Life Isn’t About You: How Failure Can Change the Way You See Yourself
By Dave Kerpen
I was sitting alone at a book-signing event at a Barnes & Noble bookstore, and nearly two hours had passed since I arrived.
For one hour and 54 minutes, not a single person had approached me to buy a book. To make matters worse, I had just had a minor argument with my wife and told her not to bother coming with our children.
At that moment, I felt lonely and humiliated. Honestly, I was miserable. Here I was, an author whose books had made The New York Times bestseller list, and there wasn’t a single person who wanted to buy my book.
Lessons from Failure
The silver lining was that all the time I spent alone gave me an opportunity to think and reflect. My book, The Art of People, explores the importance of delegation, but I believe the idea of getting over yourself carries another, perhaps more important, meaning: learning to be more humble, recognizing that life does not revolve around you, and refusing to make mountains out of molehills.
Perseverance and a Growth Mindset
I’m glad that my son is learning about perseverance and the growth mindset in fourth grade. A few days ago, he came home with a school assignment asking him to interview people about their failures and what they had learned from them. I was proud that he chose to interview me.
As I shared my thoughts with him, I was reminded once again that every failure carries valuable lessons and opportunities.
One Hour and 54 Minutes That Changed My Perspective
Looking back on the hour and 54 minutes I spent alone at the book signing, I realized that I had learned a great deal about what it truly means to get over yourself.
I have so many blessings to be grateful for. Yet I was complaining and feeling miserable simply because so few people had shown up to meet me at the bookstore. I needed to get over it and stop blowing the situation out of proportion.
Just Two People, but Enough to Make a Difference
As it turned out, two people did show up during the final five minutes. Perhaps they felt sorry for me, or perhaps they were genuinely interested in the book.
One was a man whose wife was preparing to open a nail salon. He bought a copy for her. The other described himself as a lifelong entrepreneur and said he was struggling to delegate tasks to others.
I hope both of them found the book useful. The truth is that if I managed to make a positive difference in even one person’s life during those two hours, most of which I spent alone, I would consider the experience worthwhile.
Every Failure Is an Opportunity to Grow
I hope we can all learn to get over ourselves, strengthen our perseverance and embrace the growth mindset that allows us to learn from every potential setback.
Every failure we believe we have experienced contains an opportunity for growth and development. It can be difficult to recognize that opportunity when we are in the middle of a painful experience, but eventually, we can discover what it taught us and how it helped us grow.
That growth is always worth having the courage to take risks, even when doing so means accepting the possibility of failure.
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